My mom is planning my wedding. There are still some important elements missing in this equation. Namely, I don’t have a current boyfriend, there is no money that would go into any wedding planning even if I were to start a whirlwind romance with some strange upstart, and her wedding ideas are, well, unconventional. She’s in a steampunk phase.
I decided to do some research to see what may be in store for me. She probably already has some ideas for the dress code. I hope I have some say in the wedding dress itself. Formal steampunk dresses tend to be mostly corset and petticoat. I’ll expect that, but the bottom half I get to design as I’m not terribly fond of bulk. Or skirts. (Why do I even need to wear a skirt? Can I wear pants?) Anyway, here were some designs I liked: Here’s a lovely photolog of someone’s wedding, including a dress that would probably fit and look good on me. A deviant artist drew a couple of ideas and this was my favorite. And a woman put her whole gallery of professional pics on site so you can get an idea of the dress.
What I found, though, while doing a Google search under the terms for “steampunk wedding” was that it didn’t seem to be about the outfits or the rings, but it was about the cakes. As someone who has stumbled upon several different cake shows, I know that people like to shock and awe their guests with the centerpiece of the reception. I’ve even been to a wedding where the cake was a beautiful thing (from the Black Fox’s wedding). However, the insanity and extravagance of steampunk cakes blows my mind. It’s as though the entire time spent planning the wedding and put into budget was for the cake alone. “We can’t get a real dirigible, so let’s mold some bread and icing into one.” If I were a guest at one of those weddings, I would feel baaad for sinking my teeth into just one bite. If you can’t imagine what I am talking about, here is what this post is referring to:
And so on. There are more. Many more. They are too intimidating and wondrous to eat. To Mom: if you really are planning, this is what you have to start working on first, apparently. I have a nasty feeling, though, that you are suddenly going to say, “you’re the creative one! You start designing.” If it were up to me, I’d go with this:
Here is another set of incredibly awesome, yet painful to look at shoes. I think it’s because I don’t do heels or that I’ve had really bad experiences with sharp declines, but I see boots like this and think, ‘man, why can’t they have that in a flat?’ The heel is the concept of feminine “sexy” and there probably is a similar design to this in a “man’s” section, but I dislike the fact that most of the women’s modern punk or steampunk boots of awesome have to include towering spikes. That ain’t natural and it’s frustrating to those of us who don’t need to add 4 inches to our height to feel superior. (I almost left it at “4 inches” and thought how Freudian that was.) The boots are still pretty, though:
Today will be my post to fulfill the promise of cute skull items. After this, however, I will be taking a brief vacation from real posts. I’ll still be updating, but just random pics… possibly even from my own Picasa collection! You won’t know what to expect, so keep checking back. I’m going to use the extra time to plan for better blog posts, read, catch up on real life, maybe look for jobs. I don’t know. What is it that real people do? Actually, I’ll be reading Facebook and posting to Twitter. Anyway, on to the post:
To detract from what was probably an eerie sight to some, I’ll remind people that I don’t have any real animal bones. While I would like them, my collection consists of plastic items bought or gifted. One great story comes from several years ago. During a “girls night” my two friends (K. & K.) and I found a skull at CVS that was malformed to look ~scary~. We named it Nigel and had the idea to take pictures of him all over our campus. We then sent the photos to a mutual friend pretending to be a stalker. The effect was not what we had hoped for, but the process was fun.
You could wait for Halloween to roll around and buy your expensive decor at those “Spirit” stores or crafting places or perhaps plunk down a chunk of change at my dear Martha Stewart’s Grandin Road. But why wait? I, personally, am constantly in the market to beef up my collection. Most mainstream stores will surprise you with skull icon socks (I just got a pair at A.C. Moore of all places) and stores geared towards the “younger” crowd, such as Claire’s, tends to have a goth section to cater to everyone’s tastes. (Let’s face it, though, they’re just posers. Amiright?)
For a starting point you can check the blog Skulls and Bacon. It updates only periodically, but it has a hefty backlog and includes delicious delicious bacon paraphernalia. Two of my favorite things! Plus they have a themed T-Shirt:
In the realm of direct online shopping I have found several options (sans *hisss* Hot Topic). Mom recently sent me the adorable link Plasticland which has “New Victorian” goods. I’m assuming that’s ad-speak for “Steampunk”, but their products are geared towards the everyman – they have a happy, cheery feel and the “Victorian” style is borderline cartoony. I still like it. Their “bone collection” has several items I wouldn’t mind having, such as this:
(They also have several keys & owl products. I really want half of their store.)
I located an Ebay seller with a store called Skull Treasure which specializes in… eh, you know. They are currently working on the supplies right now, per the site, check back in April! I also check Etsy here & there and find wonderful & sometimes bizarrely horrible skull/bone items. There’s a store that is specifically called Skull N Bones Clothing, but it doesn’t have a lot of Skulls N Bones in the clothing section. It’s got a lot of sexy clothes for the womens. There are accessories that have skulls and I wouldn’t mind this wallet:
I am not impressed with this store and it seems a tad overpriced. It has a supply of “Rockabilly & Swing Dresses”, however. Check it out if you need those. And… yeah. Here’s that Hot Topic link: summer skull dresses for all!
I stumbled across these rings awhile back and have held onto the links because they are really neat, but not fantastically bizarre. The website, Art Deco Diamonds does just that: nouveau jewelry and supposedly “vintage” items which look like they were dreamt up in some Steampunk factory. I’m not saying they have gears and odd pieces of industrial flotsam, but if you check out the site, you will see what I’m talking about. The metals are made to look aged, have intricate designs in most of the shank, and have a clunky look and feel.
Every once in awhile you will see me completely overhaul the design of the blog. I noticed WP had a brand new theme and I liked it because it gave a little bit more space. Of course, now it actually shows off how much space I use in writing. The old style made my longer blog posts more palatable, in my opinion. This will teach me to keep it simple.
It’s one a.m. and I can’t type straight. I’ve spent 2 hours looking at Steampunk backgrounds because I thought this theme was “steampunk-y”. Or, something. Anyway, the background is licensed by Elepski Design. I’m using it under the Creative Commons agreement. There are a lot of awesome Steampunk wallpapers and backgrounds, btw, at Steampunk Wallpaper where I found it.
Let me know if there’s any re-tweaking you think I should do along the way. As I said, this was just on a whim and a late night decision, so I’m not sure if I’ve totally botched something.
I’m going to see The Decemberists this evening after a subway, train, and car ride to Boston. It’ll be worth it to see my favorite band. I have most of their albums, but haven’t had much opportunity to savor their new album, The King is Dead, though I’ve heard a few songs and they are up to par. It’ll just be exciting to go to a concert since I haven’t been to one in forever.
One thing I am hopeful for is getting some Decemberists merch. I’ve lived this long a Decemberists fan and have nothing to show for it. I’d be interested to see if they have American tour posters that look as good as some of their previous posters. If not, I would like to get my hands one one of the older ones, because I’ve seen so many incredible designs from their European tours.