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Merry Bizzaro Christmas

And a creepy New Year. My buddy Laura shared with me 9 Disturbing Christmas Ads You Won’t Believe Are Real. Cracked does a good job making it’s own commentary, but I have to say these are my favorite.

This reminds me of Rifftrax’s A Christmas Dream (a girl has a dream about a doll she’s abandoned and he goes on a destructive rampage to convince her to keep playing with him). At the beginning they go into her room and the tree is COVERED in lit candles and sparklers. They note: “This family has spent the last 7 Christmases behind police tape watching their house burn to the ground.”

Cracked says she looks high. I say she looks terrified like he’s holding a spoon to her throat. This advertisement would make *a lot* more sense if those were knives. Also, spoons only belong on trees if they are god-awful creations from Etsy that you put on there as an “ironic” ornament.

BTW, gift idea for any MST3K lover: a Rifftrax gift card. No, I’m not a paid sponsor, unless you count the five dollar discount I earned from ordering so many damn shorts. I used that to get their newest Christmas special, Santa’s Village of Madness. Oh dear lord.

Serious note: I started writing something meaningful, but this Christmas comes after a year of so much heartache. My main Christmas wish is that next year will balance out this one in the positive. No more tragedies or storms or unnecessary loss. I’m not wishing for “peace on earth, good will to men”. Gods know that’s not going to happen. (By the way, yes I celebrate the time of peace and gratitude known as “Christmas” even though I am Pagan.) It would just be nice for humans to take some baby steps towards a better future. Acknowledge global warming? Free health care so more people can get lithium? Something? Okay. I’m done because I apparently can’t physically type on my tiny board tonight. To all my loved ones north & south (and the two or three out west): Have a safe & happy holiday season.

Christmas Song For All

My sister says to say “Chex Mix smells delicious”. It does. We will have Chex Mix and wine at the family gathering tonight. Mom & sister are also dragging me to the first church service I’ve been to in two years. I’m fine as long as I can wear blue jeans.

Anyway, I wanted to share my favorite Christmas song. Uh… seasonal song… if that’s okay with you.


For anyone who doesn’t know what an “OTP” is, the urban dictionary definition is:
“One True Pairing. Meaning your favorite combination of characters in a fandom.”

Loosely defined it means two people you could romantically stick together despite gender or fandom origin. (This is also referred to as “shipping”.) The reason I’m writing these definitions is because I will most likely be using it more than once in my post-a-day month. Deal with it.

As my favorite (uncontested) show of all time is MST3K I want to confirm that Frank and Forrester were my original OTPs (well, maybe after Bulk & Skull, but I’ll get to that later in the month). When the show changed and we had a new cast of Mads, I tried to put Pearl & Observer together. It wasn’t quite the same. Frank and Dr. F. had a special bond that can only come from two single guys living together with an obvious dom/sub relationship.

Pearl & Observer have weird a love/hate relationship. Dr. Bobo will not be included in this assessment because I’m not a furry. Observer meanwhile “is completely and utterly… without a body.” Observer/Brain Guy was supposed to be sexually ambiguous, but there were moments when he was not… like the time he dressed like a stripper or when he grew hockey hair and rejoiced that he felt like Guy Lafleur. Still, I had moments where I thought there was a twist of tension:

And then maybe not:

You can judge Dr. F. & T.V.’s Frank with one of the nerdiest host segments I’ve ever seen:

Special thanks to tumblr – check out Texts From the SOL.
Deviant Art for your nightmare inducing nightmares, proving once again you can bronify anything.
DON3K’s PTQ for hilariously still existing after 12 years.
And the psycho who posted this on tumblr:

What To Get Geek Girls

At some point I might have promised not to do ring posts again. I LIED. Going back to my raven/shiny objects analogy, I prefer bright, odd, and more costume-esque jewelry. I like hunting through secondhand stores for a piece of treasure (and renaissance festivals are my bane). The Internet is another source for ornaments I want and can’t afford. Here are a few:

I had an entire post on Lego fads and how I couldn’t understand why people go to lengths for toy fashion. I guess it’s like the Rule 34 of design (if it exists someone has tried to make it wearable). Here is something Lego-related that I do approve of:

This is from Totally Geek.

Being the science geek that I am, I would kill for one of these (especially if it comes in Beryllium):

Linked from The Toy Zone‘s article on geeky wedding rings. From that same article there were a handful of USB rings and this:

And as an aside, I like shiny necklaces, too. Please, please, please:

A la EPBOT from their article on Geek Chic Bling.

I Feel Funny About This Part 2

Today is another fan art day. I hope I’m not losing some customers. I have choosy tastes when it comes to fan art. I know what I like and that’s often very little. I have a hard time joining fan groups because that means *art* will crop up. The uncomfortable type. The type that I feel the urge to use “constructive criticism” on, but don’t want to hurt my newfound imaginary Internet friends. Their imaginary love means so much! I’m sorry, a little PTSD there. I have tried my hand at fan art and maybe it’s because I SUCK SO HARD that it comes across as bitterness, but I do have a discerning eye and it takes a special talent to get my attention. Even then it still makes me feel funny.

This here art from tentaclees is located at the Deviant Art boards. Her general art is pretty awesome, but most of her work seems fan-based. I guess I connect because I’m familiar with most of her subjects, but I really just like her style. I always like to think that if I had continued to pursue drawing I wouldn’t suck so badly today. I think actually attending an art class in high school messed me up. … Off track again. Today’s not been a good day for me.

tentaclees’ subjects cover Harry Potter, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (friends can verify I was concernedly obsessed with J. Vasquez’s works in college), MST3K, Gorillaz (Noodle mostly), Metalocalypse, The Venture Brothers (my computer’s name is Dr. Girlfriend so we approve), and countless other sci fi/fantasy/video game titles. Here are a few choice works, though the artist seems quite prolific:

Sorry the images are so large. For some reason WP disobeys my orders for thumbnails so images tend to be readjusted. Even if none of these do it for you, you can still check out the gallery in the link above (or click on any image) because it seems like art my audience would be into. If I have an audience. Hello?
…thump thump thump thump *slam*
Oh well.

It’s a Haiku

Here is the post I promised from yesterday. The tumblr MST3K Haiku no longer seems to be updating since March of 2010, so I can only honor its greatness in death. Here I present to you some of my favorites:

Keep Watching

I am a huge MST3K fan. A huge, HUGE MST3K fan. One summer in high school I had a Prince of Space MiSTy tape that I played on repeat (another reason the VCR was shot in less than a year) in the background while I worked on other projects. That was one of the summers where I didn’t have any real friends so Mike and the bots substituted. That doesn’t sound pathetic at all. Right?

Then in college it was a great way to bond with people, including a friend who has stuck with me for over a decade. Roo had most of them in mpeg format and he’d invited me to watch them at his dorm room (scandalous!). I think this was in part to scare off his creepy roommate.

Dragon*Con has brought me close to my heroes on a number of occasions. I’ve even gotten a picture taken with Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy. Here’s the link, although I have to explain this was more than eight years ago and I had worse fashion sense than I do now: I’m wearing a Dr. Evil shirt. I kinda miss that shirt now. Nostalgia has no taste.

I have happened upon two MST3K related tumblrs, although one doesn’t seem active anymore. The other one inspired me greatly and I am working to add to it. I’ll post pics from the defunct one tomorrow, but today I’d like to show you this one that I made from the Hipster MST3K site:

And these are a few of my favorites made by other posters:

So there you have it. (A letter opener.) I’ll be posting more updates on Hipster MST3K and hope to inspire more people to return. If not, I have a fun art project to keep myself busy for a few days.

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