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When We Pretend

I created this blog on the basis of it being random objects I found online (the original subtitle being “Excavating the Internet”). It was supposed to be a mixture of obscure crap and shiny objects. However, I lied to myself in thinking that I could blog without it becoming too personal. If I want impersonal I can comment on YouT… reblog on tumb… tweet? Words, why do you make me subjective?!

So for the last several posts I’ve been focusing on something I pretended to have a serious interest in: Disney. I don’t care that much for Disney but posted because it was popular on tumblr. Since I think everything that tumblr does is cool, I figured I could pass it off as something interesting for my WP blog.

Then it started to wear on me. I’m a 30-year-old researching movies I haven’t seen in decades. I wanted to be part of the popular meme crowd. I desire attention that I don’t truly believe I deserve (as I keep complaining about, sorry). I get anxious writing a post about anything. That may be common. I don’t know. Putting myself out there while wearing a mask of self-confidence strains on the act of writing itself. I have to make up self-assurance.

How do I take the me I want the world to see and make it less pretend? I don’t want to be the drama llama that I was on LiveJournal. (I ended up naming that blog “The Complaints Department”.) I don’t want it to be humor splashed with lots of pics of Tom Hiddleston as it is on tumblr. Funny but depressed, busy but lazy, self-centered but self-hating. All these things are me. If I’m going to be more honest I fear it’ll end up sounding like this post: confused and terrified. Where’s that mask again?

“I want my friends to think I’m awesome.
Awesome! Awesome, yeah!
I want this world to think I care.
I don’t care at all.”
-Foxy Shazam, “Wannabe Angel

I’ll try to get back into the swing of things. The main reason for this post: f**k the Disney Challenge. Here’s a brief list of the remaining questions & answers.
Day #16: Your favorite classic: Fantasia
Day #17: Your least favorite classic: Pinnochio
Day #18: Your favorite Pixar film: Up
Day #19: Your least favorite Pixar film: Finding Nemo
Day #20: Favorite sequel: Toy Story 2
Day #21: An overrated movie: Tarzan
Day #22: An underrated movie: Pete’s Dragon
Day #23: A movie that makes you laugh: The Incredibles
Day #24: A movie that makes you cry: a lot of them
Day #25: Your favorite scene from your favorite movie: (not my favorite movie, but) the last piece of the door scene in Monsters, Inc.
Day #26: Saddest death: Mufasa, duh.
Day #27: Your favorite quote:
All Aliens: [pointing up] The clawwwwwwwww!
Alien #1: The claw is our master.
Alien #2: The claw chooses who will go and who will stay.
(Toy Story)
Day #28: Your favorite couple: Miss Bianca and Bernard from The Rescuers
Day #29: Your favorite friendship: Robin Hood and Little John
Day #30: Your favorite Princess Castle: Rapunzel’s

And here’s a picture of the real me with an owl.

(I am chubbier than I have been in years. Part of the self-hate is not motivating myself on a number of fronts. But I want these pounds off! For the last week or two I’ve been seriously Sweatin’ To The Oldies.)

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30 Day Disney Challenge: Day Fifteen

Day Fifteen: The first movie you saw

The first movie I saw in an actual theater was The Little Mermaid. I’m almost positive. I remember stumbling into the light afterwards and feeling a little excited and disoriented from seeing a cartoon on such a large screen. (Checked the date: this movie came out in 1989 so I was old enough to not be a pain in the ass at a theater.)

Favorite character: Scuttle

I don’t know what Disney movie I saw before that. My family had video tapes of some of the oldies: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. My mom and sister remember when I spent an entire summer watching Cinderella on repeat. These days I can’t care less about that movie, but I drove my family insane. I loved “The Work Song” sung by the mice as they are making her dress and I wanted it played over and over.

I also really liked Lucifer the Cat:

30 Day Disney Challenge: Day Fourteen

Day Fourteen: Your favorite kiss

I’m not a huge fan of the kissing moments because there’s too much build up to one smooch. Your fears of intimacy dissolve and you embrace your one true love in a tender moment that has to be… perfect. F**king perfect. The Disney kiss scenes are a little too much, but I guess I would go with Tangled. Flynn isn’t a prince (as I’ve noted my preference for rogues before) and Rapunzel is innocent yet willful. The first kiss is passionate because (spoiler) her love for him overcame death. It’s like a backwards, more heart-wrenching Snow White moment.

And the second kiss is also quite charming because she feels joy and freedom and Flynn was a big part of that.

And I might have chosen this for my favorite love song had I remembered it:

(*sniff* The lanterns were for YOU, Rapunzel. They were for you.)

30 Day Disney Challenge: Day Thirteen

Day Thirteen: Your least favorite song

“I’ve Got No Strings” from Pinocchio. Easily one of my least favorite characters to begin with, this song grates on my ears and fuels my hatred for him.

On top of that, he’s ogling female puppets from across the world. He’s supposed to be a stupid child. Why is he staring up the french ladies’ skirts?

Stay down! Jiminy is right! You suck!

30 Day Disney Challenge: Day Twelve

Day Twelve: Your favorite villain song

“Poor Unfortunate Souls” as sung by the talented Pat Carroll. She has a rich voice and the character was convincingly evil. Years later I also see it as a statement on body issues. You have this large woman, who seems to prefer being large, urging impressionable youth that image was all that mattered in relationships. The message was beauty before personality (not like Ariel had much of one to begin with).


(This was embeddable, but the better version was not.)

In true villain fashion she wasn’t looking to keep a fair trade or make someone happy: she knew it was a path to ultimate power. She used appearance to be the deceiver and dropped the attractive countenance once she got what she wanted. It’s on the inside that counts:

There’s also a bit of a gender fight going on:

And in keeping with the female/evil depictions, I feel I need to add this:

(“Evil Flush” by Ponsho)

This question was tough since are some great songs to choose from. Several years ago I made a CD called “Evil in the Ear of the Beholder” and distributed it amongst my friends. (This may or may not have been illegal.) It included many Disney songs, but a handful of songs from so-called kids’ movies (like Anastasia and Fern Gully). If anyone is interested in the playlist let me know.

30 Day Disney Challenge: Day Eleven

Day Eleven: Your favorite love song

“Can’t Fight This Feeling” by REO Speedwagon. Oh wait. Wrong answer. I’m going to have to give this one to Aladdin. “A Whole New World” was amazing to watch in the theater and matches up with my theme of escapism. Get out! See the world! (Or you could be like me and experience reality through tumblr. It’s totally the same.)

As flawed as he was, Aladdin wanted the girl to love him by making her happy (while ignoring advice to be himself). She’s already a princess, so how do you do that? Tell her that she’ll have free will. I’m still never sure what the message is in Aladdin.

And a little something James Cameron stole:

(Tale As Old As Time definitely comes a close second.)

30 Day Disney Challenge: Day Ten

Day Ten: Your favorite song

I have several favorites, but many of them are villain songs. That’s a separate question, though, so I had to ponder my other options. Most of the 90’s movies had fantastic songs (Aladdin, Pocahontas, Beauty and the Beast, and The Lion King). It was difficult to choose from the selection. I feel most of The Lion King songs were great, but I don’t really feel like picking one of those today. It feels like a cop-out.

Ergo, I limited my choices down and ended up with a tie. Most of Disney’s “princess” movies tend to have at least one song about the woman wanting to explore and be free (despite the fact that they end up in their correct gender roles due to some handsome man interfering).

Since Belle is my favorite I’ll let her go first:

(Is it just me or does the end remind you of The Sound of Music.) Here’s a Harry Potter/B&B tumblr spin-off.

Next is Avatar Pocahontas. She was also the “free spirited” main character who doesn’t dream of meeting a handsome prince, but wants adventure. I loved “Just Around the River Bend”, but YouTube will not allow me to embed that one. So instead you get “Colors of the Wind” which is just as good (dirty Native American propaganda that it is /sarcasm):

(Does that rock outcrop remind you of anything… circle of life-ish?)

BTW, when researching Disney songs I was reminded of “Best of Friends” which I listened to. goddamnit.

EDIT: Question for the audience. Which did you like better: Colors of the Wind or Circle of Life?

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