Blog Archives

Merry Bizzaro Christmas

And a creepy New Year. My buddy Laura shared with me 9 Disturbing Christmas Ads You Won’t Believe Are Real. Cracked does a good job making it’s own commentary, but I have to say these are my favorite.

This reminds me of Rifftrax’s A Christmas Dream (a girl has a dream about a doll she’s abandoned and he goes on a destructive rampage to convince her to keep playing with him). At the beginning they go into her room and the tree is COVERED in lit candles and sparklers. They note: “This family has spent the last 7 Christmases behind police tape watching their house burn to the ground.”


Cracked says she looks high. I say she looks terrified like he’s holding a spoon to her throat. This advertisement would make *a lot* more sense if those were knives. Also, spoons only belong on trees if they are god-awful creations from Etsy that you put on there as an “ironic” ornament.

BTW, gift idea for any MST3K lover: a Rifftrax gift card. No, I’m not a paid sponsor, unless you count the five dollar discount I earned from ordering so many damn shorts. I used that to get their newest Christmas special, Santa’s Village of Madness. Oh dear lord.

Serious note: I started writing something meaningful, but this Christmas comes after a year of so much heartache. My main Christmas wish is that next year will balance out this one in the positive. No more tragedies or storms or unnecessary loss. I’m not wishing for “peace on earth, good will to men”. Gods know that’s not going to happen. (By the way, yes I celebrate the time of peace and gratitude known as “Christmas” even though I am Pagan.) It would just be nice for humans to take some baby steps towards a better future. Acknowledge global warming? Free health care so more people can get lithium? Something? Okay. I’m done because I apparently can’t physically type on my tiny board tonight. To all my loved ones north & south (and the two or three out west): Have a safe & happy holiday season.

Advertisements

Mmmm… Skull Juice

When I become a shut-in widowed inheritress, I will have a magnificent liquor cabinet to keep me company. I will need items of equally compelling value to fill it. Within the last month I found two items that seem appropriate, but if anybody wants to buy them for me before the poiso- er, accidental death of my future husband, I will present them here for your consideration:

To pour my potables, I feel that this decanter would be fitting for me:

Available at Olive and Cocoa.

And what better to put in it? Dan Aykroyd’s new Crystal Head vodka. (Yes of Ghostbuster’s fame.) In a perfect an beautiful shape (and only at the low cost of $50), it’s all I could ever want:

You can further read about it here at the main site, click on the image for a review, or just let Dan tell you all about it himself:

Now I have a few more goals to reach for. That is, if I don’t die in this hurricane tomorrow. If I do, I ask that you buy some sort of expensive alcohol and drink it out of my skull once my body is burned. This is a totally serious request. Totally.

I’d Hit That: Dr. Franken Stein

The topic I’ve been working on is just not going to get finished. Not while I’m getting distracted by Soul Eater that is. I can’t believe I did not discover this sooner, although I haven’t been into anime since college.

I highly recommend the show if you like action anime. It is a really good dark comedy. It’s kinda cute, but at the same time it balances out with a portion of the drama llama. I like that the monsters are very creative and the show doesn’t rely heavily on blood and gore (although there’s a little of that). And I like most of the characters.

The choice of names is bizarre, though. I wish they had picked something better than “Death the Kid” for the Grim Reaper’s son, but I guess it works. Many of the villains are named things like (spoilers? kinda?) Rasputin and Jack the Ripper, but depicted as, you know, monsters.

Best character though? Dr. Franken Stein. Sounds like he should be one of the villains, right? No. He’s just crazy. Hobbies include: smoking, dissecting people, analyzing souls, mentally f*cking with people, and seeing how far he can go in his rolling desk chair without having to get up. He’s also apparently one of the best fighters on the show. Like that guy… from Naruto… who did that thing. (I don’t know. It’s been forever since I watched that stupid show.) Uhh… So. Here are some pictures:

(Yes. He has a giant screw in his head.)

And a superfluous half naked shot. He apparently gets as much sun as I do.

If I could *be* anyone in the series, it would totally be Blair the Cat-Witch. (Pumpkin Pumpkin!)

No More Free Time

I finally gave in and started a Tumblr. That’s right, I have the DISEASE now. Part of it is for the sheer amusement, but part of it is for inspiration on this blog. Since I’m going to spend the rest of my day rotting my brain over there I’ll just dump this mindf*ck on you:

Courtesy of Very Demotivational.

The Most Important Video You May Ever Watch

I couldn’t figure out a good video to wrap this week up. Okay, the real delay was because I ended up wasting my day on FFX-2 again. My bad. Anyway, I have one more video from my collection that has stuck with me for years. The problem is you need about 40 spare minutes to indulge in it. I present The Most Important Video You May Ever Watch (it demands full screen):

This is going to be it for about two weeks. I’ll be going up to Mom’s in a week, but next week will just be a personal week because it’s good to take a mental break from the blog every once & awhile. If I feel like updating, I might.

Purely Psychosomatic

This is an old favorite that I was introduced to back in college. It is hard to explain the video, you just have to watch and learn. LEARN. Young’uns today don’t understand that you don’t need those digital animatrations to depict crazy.

No God Could Create These Abominations

Thankfully they’re fictional! I realized yesterday that I was getting hair that resembled Peppermint Patty’s. Unsure of this, I Googled images of her (avoid including “Marcie” in your search, FYI, if safe search is off). Within the first few images that cropped up was a likeness of her internal structure. There is an artist who takes cartoons and comics and does “character studies” of them. He has a fairly good grasp on skeletal anatomy (as far as I can note) and his study choices are… uh… effective:



If you think these are totally awesome/bizarre/must-haves you can check his site Michael Paulus or just the character study series or browse his Etsy store.

So this week it looks like I’m doing an art week. My search lead me on a strange, dark path and I have some ideas that will hopefully get me in a more creative mood than the quick pics that I did last week.

%d bloggers like this: