Sorry About That

I want to apologize for not posting yesterday. Mostly I’m apologizing to myself. I actually forgot yesterday and feel guilty. At one point I was online and thought about putting something together, but my brain went “Procrastination Mode: On”. After I went off the computer, I didn’t return and finally remembered the post after I was already in bed. ~blah blah blah no one cares and i have to shovel today~

If I am going to apologize to my audience, I have so many more things to say. Sorry if you think anything on my blog has been offensive, especially the post on Caligula. Sorry if you spotted any typos or errors, don’t worry I’ve noticed them too and will spend hours agonizing over edits. Sorry if I’ve ever hit too close to home. I’m sorry that most of my posts are not engaging and 3/4ths of my blog visits are to the Medieval Torture post and the one about poisonous mushrooms. I’m sorry I kept doing “ring” posts when I started. I liked shiny things and thought my audience would too. I’m sorry for occasionally going full LiveJournal-mode and complaining about petty things like my job situation and insurance. My mom says I apologize too much, so I’m sorry about that.

There. Now I can start the next year with all of that out. No more apologies. I’ll have to start posting things like I’m not humble or some shit.

Anyway, I am sorry thankful that people felt the need to give me well wishes after the last post. The death of a family friend is hard, but it is even harder to stack it on top of 3 or 4 other deaths of family and friends within the same year. Or if you are my sister, the 11 or 12 other deaths. Plus the tragic shit that’s gone on in 2012. I’m glad that people are here for me, but I am here for you too if there are things from this year that are hard to cope with.

Cards to cheer you up:

As some of you may know, the above cards come from someecards.
I considered Blue Barnhouse and This Is Going To Be Awkward as other card options. These links are for your perusal this holiday season. (We’re still in the holidays, damnit! Find yourself a Valentine!”)

Parting

“Moments of kindness and reconciliation are worth having, even if the parting has to come sooner or later.”
-Alice Munro

We’ve lost another soul in our circle of friends and family. I will be glad when 2012 is over and done with.

Here’re some pictures of candles because I feel like it:


candles in the night

(And if you want to be *really* depressed, search “death” under tumblr tags. Those who are scared and lonely inhabit tumblr.)

Owl of the Week 4

It’s snowy. It’s holiday season. It’s Owl Wednesday!



There are a few more here: Lovely Owls on tumblr.

I don’t know what these are from. If someone can tell me the origin, the designer, something… that would be great. If these are from a holiday card set, I would totally buy them.

Merry Bizzaro Christmas

And a creepy New Year. My buddy Laura shared with me 9 Disturbing Christmas Ads You Won’t Believe Are Real. Cracked does a good job making it’s own commentary, but I have to say these are my favorite.

This reminds me of Rifftrax’s A Christmas Dream (a girl has a dream about a doll she’s abandoned and he goes on a destructive rampage to convince her to keep playing with him). At the beginning they go into her room and the tree is COVERED in lit candles and sparklers. They note: “This family has spent the last 7 Christmases behind police tape watching their house burn to the ground.”


Cracked says she looks high. I say she looks terrified like he’s holding a spoon to her throat. This advertisement would make *a lot* more sense if those were knives. Also, spoons only belong on trees if they are god-awful creations from Etsy that you put on there as an “ironic” ornament.

BTW, gift idea for any MST3K lover: a Rifftrax gift card. No, I’m not a paid sponsor, unless you count the five dollar discount I earned from ordering so many damn shorts. I used that to get their newest Christmas special, Santa’s Village of Madness. Oh dear lord.

Serious note: I started writing something meaningful, but this Christmas comes after a year of so much heartache. My main Christmas wish is that next year will balance out this one in the positive. No more tragedies or storms or unnecessary loss. I’m not wishing for “peace on earth, good will to men”. Gods know that’s not going to happen. (By the way, yes I celebrate the time of peace and gratitude known as “Christmas” even though I am Pagan.) It would just be nice for humans to take some baby steps towards a better future. Acknowledge global warming? Free health care so more people can get lithium? Something? Okay. I’m done because I apparently can’t physically type on my tiny board tonight. To all my loved ones north & south (and the two or three out west): Have a safe & happy holiday season.

Christmas Song For All

My sister says to say “Chex Mix smells delicious”. It does. We will have Chex Mix and wine at the family gathering tonight. Mom & sister are also dragging me to the first church service I’ve been to in two years. I’m fine as long as I can wear blue jeans.

Anyway, I wanted to share my favorite Christmas song. Uh… seasonal song… if that’s okay with you.

Back to Reality

I’m going to be heading out to CT tomorrow so today I need to get my act together. I have to clean my sister’s apartment. Okay I don’t *have* to, but she appreciates me not leaving her place an utter craphole after staying over. Hey! I didn’t let your cat die, so that should be enough. Right?

What’s on my to-do list?
-Re-pack the suitcase.
-Vacuum the suitcase because the cat thought it was hers for three days.
-Do the dishes.
-Prevent making new dirty dishes by ordering junk food. (Maybe I shouldn’t admit that one.)
-Track down clean sheets to prevent further allergy problems. *Turns around to see cat curled up in the middle of the unmade bed.*
-Pack up mom’s good camera. She “accidentally” leaves things at Kate’s that she thinks one of us needs.
-Break down crying after another failed attempt to fix my headphones.
-Try to find something in Kate’s apartment that she’s forgotten about so I can give that to her as a last minute gift. (I may or may not have done zero Xmas shopping.)
-Feed and pick up after the cat.
-Resist throwing the cat in the tub.
-And try not to finish off the Maker’s Mark.

I finally meandered over to tumblr again (these days my dash is filled with Dr. Who and The Hobbit, neither of which I’ve seen and don’t want to reblog) and found this:

By artist Derick James.

I don’t normally wear sweatshirts, but this would be an exception.

Big Brother Wizard of Oz

I’m cat-sitting this weekend. Since I’m at my sister’s I’ve been absorbed by her television. I’ve been trying to do other things that need doing this weekend, but my brain shut off. I watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which is a lovely Christmas movie. I also caught the end of The Wizard of Oz and now those songs of my childhood will be playing over and over. Damn. At least it isn’t that “Call Me Maybe” song.

I thought with all my laziness today I could give posting a pass and make up for it tomorrow. Then I thought of other times I gave myself a concession to avoid something I need to do. It snowballs until I’ve allowed excuses to quit altogether.

I haven’t plotted anything out for the rest of this month, other than the owls and one or two more Christmas things. I’m sure there are other things in my brain that i haven’t put into writing yet. I haven’t been on tumblr recently so no inspiration there. My main “saves for blog” folders are on my computer at Dad’s (and I’m out of there for the rest of December).

I keep trying to write down this dream I had last night, but it keeps rearranging itself. Suffice to say it was about a young girl of noble birth who’s fighting against a militant-socialist regime. She loses her family in an airship explosion. She ends up going undercover in the regime as an enforcer. It gets a little weirdly Orwellian 1984 here. She works for what could be called the Outer Party and secretly is trying to find the leaders of the Inner Party and start a resistance. She was like an underling to O’Brien (she beats people who are thought to be traitors to the Party). Through this she found her old bodyguard wasn’t killed in the airship crash and has been held for two years for torture and questioning. Mostly torture.

It’s Auron. Of course my brain stuck Auron in there. He’s happy to see she’s alive, but since she is a fighter she doesn’t need his protection. She wants him to fight for the resistance, which he’s willing to do. That group consists of her second in command who looked like Commanderette Zircon from Spaceballs, a nerdy computer hacker, a doctor named Rajeesh (oh god, really?), myself as an engineer (who kind of dressed like Cid from FF7), and several others who were the most paranoid group of people you could meet.

We were all worried about Big Brother and I found out that one woman who had surgery done to her had a metal tracker in her head. I swiped a magnet over it. It shorted out, but the woman had to have surgery again because of the pain it was causing. That made everyone more paranoid since they don’t know who else could have a tracker. I ended up running around rubbing people with a magnet. I’m positive this comes from my paranoia of having VNS (as mentioned before) since if I look like I’m having a seizure someone can swipe a magnet over my head. That idea still freaks me out. Did I take my meds? Yeah. Continuing.

So we get involved in some sort of attack/escape/shopping plan. It keeps overlapping with other dreams here. At one point there’s an explosion and we lose our doctor. But that’s okay because his assistant, Dr. Palmer from NCIS is there. No one trusts him, though. There are some explosions and I get cut off from everyone except for Auron. We have to run through the jungle. My brain decided to take a short cut from this to another dream where I’m in a super mall waiting for my family in a massive line. But I have tickets to get into the mall? What?

I’m tired. I’m going to go back to sleep and hope nothing like that happens again.

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