Merry Bizzaro Christmas
And a creepy New Year. My buddy Laura shared with me 9 Disturbing Christmas Ads You Won’t Believe Are Real. Cracked does a good job making it’s own commentary, but I have to say these are my favorite.
This reminds me of Rifftrax’s A Christmas Dream (a girl has a dream about a doll she’s abandoned and he goes on a destructive rampage to convince her to keep playing with him). At the beginning they go into her room and the tree is COVERED in lit candles and sparklers. They note: “This family has spent the last 7 Christmases behind police tape watching their house burn to the ground.”
Cracked says she looks high. I say she looks terrified like he’s holding a spoon to her throat. This advertisement would make *a lot* more sense if those were knives. Also, spoons only belong on trees if they are god-awful creations from Etsy that you put on there as an “ironic” ornament.
BTW, gift idea for any MST3K lover: a Rifftrax gift card. No, I’m not a paid sponsor, unless you count the five dollar discount I earned from ordering so many damn shorts. I used that to get their newest Christmas special, Santa’s Village of Madness. Oh dear lord.
Serious note: I started writing something meaningful, but this Christmas comes after a year of so much heartache. My main Christmas wish is that next year will balance out this one in the positive. No more tragedies or storms or unnecessary loss. I’m not wishing for “peace on earth, good will to men”. Gods know that’s not going to happen. (By the way, yes I celebrate the time of peace and gratitude known as “Christmas” even though I am Pagan.) It would just be nice for humans to take some baby steps towards a better future. Acknowledge global warming? Free health care so more people can get lithium? Something? Okay. I’m done because I apparently can’t physically type on my tiny board tonight. To all my loved ones north & south (and the two or three out west): Have a safe & happy holiday season.