Flowers on the Wall

There are a number of songs that help me stay in touch with the world. I like knowing there are others who suffer the same problems I do (Elton John’s Sad Songs sums this up). Many times I’ll listen to a song that hits home… Yet it turns around and stabs me with guilt for not obtaining my dreams. The singers have accomplished their goals, despite their uphill battles. Examples would be fun., Marina and the Diamonds, or any song from The Wiz soundtrack. They may be depressed or socially anxious, but at least they’re working hard.

So I’m depressed and anxious and worried about my dreams. Can I hear a song for those who have stopped fighting or like to hide away? The answer is yes. One of my favorite songs is “Flowers on the Wall” by the Statler Brothers. I was first introduced to it through the Pulp Fiction soundtrack. (I don’t really like Tarantino movies, but he always picks great music.)

Here are the lyrics:

I keep hearin’ you’re concerned about my happiness
But all that thought you’re givin’ me is conscience I guess
If I was walkin’ in your shoes, I wouldn’t worry none
While you ‘n’ your friends are worried about me I’m havin’ lots of fun

Countin’ flowers on the wall
That don’t bother me at all
Playin’ solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one
Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo
Now don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do

Last night I dressed in tails, pretended I was on the town
As long as I can dream it’s hard to slow this swinger down
So please don’t give a thought to me, I’m really doin’ fine
You can always find me here, I’m havin’ quite a time

Countin’ flowers on the wall
That don’t bother me at all
Playin’ solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one
Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo
Now don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do

It’s good to see you, I must go, I know I look a fright
Anyway my eyes are not accustomed to this light
And my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete
So I must go back to my room and make my day complete

Countin’ flowers on the wall
That don’t bother me at all
Playin’ solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one
Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo
Now don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do

Don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do

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About Strix Varia

Seeking the strange creatures of the Internet while staving off the boredom of being unemployed and far from old friends. Follow the blog if you need something with which to pass the time away.

Posted on December 6, 2012, in depression, music, social anxiety and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. what are your dreams and have you given up on them like this guy?

    • Current dreams: live on my own, go to secondary school for a science degree (despite having a lib arts bachelors), move back to Atlanta where my true friends are, become a famous astronomer, ???, profit.

      I’m 30, so it feels weird that I haven’t directed myself as I should have (I think most people my age get this feeling). I’m living with parents. I’m seeing a counselor for anxiety. The anxiety has been holding me back. I can get work, but I’ll probably have to move in with my sister once I do (unless I get work down south). If I get enough money together I can then take the GREs. From there…?

      It’s a hard question to answer. The reason this song works for me is because I spend a lot of time with my head in the clouds and my eyes on a computer screen instead of working towards the next step. It’s easier not to connect with real people or deal with real problems.

      Ever feel that way?

      • Yes, essentially all the time. I am in the same living situation as you and it sucks because I was on my own a few years ago. Now here I am at 32 feeling like I am a useless bum. I lost my job three months ago because my screwy head made me take too many days off and show up late once too often. And I really have no clear idea what to do to fix my life.

        I sometimes dream of being a pro writer or a teacher, but I never submit anything for publication, rarely finish anything, and can’t afford school right now. But I always complain so I want to force myself to change. I want to grow and realize what my true dreams and feelings and gifts are so I can be a better person. Or at least a better writer.

        But where to start? And how? You know>

        • I do know. It’s been two years since I had to leave my job because of medical issues. Uuuuseless.

          My family has to move in 6 months so my options are moving to an even newer and possibly scarier place or going homeless. I need to get my ass in gear, even if only for temporary security.

          (Side note: I tried to lose my job, but ended up quitting because the job was making my epilepsy worse. Unfortunately I had signed up for FMLA and they were like “yeah, you have a lot of time to skip work”. They didn’t want to actually lay me off.)

          • I wish you well in getting in gear. That’s always been the most frightening part for me: taking the deep breath and stepping into whatever new scenario I’ve found. Is there something particularly intimidating about where your parents are planning to move or is it just the idea of leaving where you are and having to adjust to new digs?

            Do you prefer living with them or your sister?

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