With Your Powers Combined…

Here’s the plan: Every superhero comic/show/videogame/*concept* is being made into a movie. Why not the most brilliant piece of liberal propaganda that brainwashed captivated us all as kids? I speak of none other than CAPTAIN PLANET! (By Odin’s Raven! Is that another one of those ancient sites I bespoke of? Sarah, come look!)

There was a hoax going around for several months leading poor fan boys into believing this movie would some day exist. It would star none other than Brad Pitt and be directed by the Wachowski Brothers (and have Hugo Weaving? What villain was he going to be?). They even went so far as to create a fake domain name, though nothing exists there. Ergo, since all this hype was raised for nothing yet *everything* else nerd-boys love is getting recognized, it’s the next logical step. It’s also a good study on seeing how we can further cheapen the goals of our current ecological endeavors:

Today is still a bling post. Captain Planet was all about the rings. Five kids brought together by nothing else but big, honking pimp rings. They looked like glass or kind of plastic-y and when fans got replicas they always looked cheap. That’s not going to sell in modern America. If we are going to bump this up, meaning merchandisemerchandisemerchandise, we have to have nice rings, sexier clothes (what is Ma-Ti wearing? Jungle clothes? No.), and a much hotter Gaia. I can help with one area. Here are some rings I think the producers & designers should consider:

(Via Style Hive)

(Via Antique Vintage Engagement Rings)
Call me if you make a decision! We’ll do lunch!

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About Strix Varia

Seeking the strange creatures of the Internet while staving off the boredom of being unemployed and far from old friends. Follow the blog if you need something with which to pass the time away.

Posted on January 25, 2011, in bling, nerds, T.V. and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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