Wednesday’s Cringer: Gold diggers have bad grammar

In my research into rings yesterday… okay, specifically “bizarre or unique engagement rings” on Google images, I found an interesting article through The Frisky about a reaction to a “Dear Prudence” (via Slate) letter. The author quotes the response, but her own reaction is minimal and doesn’t go into analysis. Here’s the culprit:

“The real reason, and I mean the REAL reason why we all want largest available ROCK is to because we want it as a weapon. A social weapon. We want to able to scratch with ethernal jelousy [sic throughout] and envy the heart of our current future female friends and enemies, so, even when we will turn into a fat, ordinary, ugly and old woman in the next 60 years, we could always, always make an subtle movement with the hand, reach something, wave good bye, just anything, so the light catches an edge, deflects on one or two faces of the stone, just make a sparkle or bling, just for a instant. But that instant, brief as a blink, is enough for us to remember our capacity to be at the same level of most females of our class. May be even dismiss all smaller stone ringers. That subtle moment will last a tenth of a second. But in our hearts the power will remain constant as well as our sweet thoughts of you giving, for giving us that power or illusion of power.”

This brings to mind an image I saw months ago that seems to be from some sort of school newspaper. Part of me hopes it’s fake, part of me doesn’t.

So what have we learned? I am not clear on the age of the first person, but from the context we can assume she views herself as young and could grow fat and unattractive. Best to have something she can cling onto that makes her better than others. By that age, though, I doubt the “others” of her social “class” will have that respect if she doesn’t learn how to write proper grammar or complete a cohesive thought. Deflects? Deflector shields up! I can only assume “ethernal jelousy” is eternal jealousy, but if other girls of her “class” have rocks just as big or bigger since this is apparently a competition… or it’s a reminder that you are equal… or you like having an “illusion of power”, but you know it’s an illusion… I just… what?

The second girl obviously wants to obtain a life of leisure. She may already be from a rich family that indoctrinated her to believe she doesn’t need to work. Or they told her she’s too stupid and should just hope to marry rich since she can’t do any better in life. I’m gathering both from this article. This “little princess” has no hope to do anything besides her nails unless the people who published this in her school newspaper were doing so to finally notify the school officials that she needs to be held back a few years.

Oh, for those future gold diggers out there, the Internet does supply you with instructions on how to obtain your goal of getting that rich sugar daddy of your dreams! You can just check out the acclaimed wikiHow or eHow for further information. You are welcome!!!


About Strix Varia

Seeking the strange creatures of the Internet while staving off the boredom of being unemployed and far from old friends. Follow the blog if you need something with which to pass the time away.

Posted on December 8, 2010, in bling, what women want and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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